week 3 is almost over with!!! only 12 more to go. today in our professional development class, we learned our personality colors. i am a mix of gold, green and blue. It was based off of some book. i remember having to do the same test in freshmen orientation. Gold people are organizers, which I am definitely not. The values that I represent from gold are practicality, a deep commitment to the standards of our society, and heritage, history and family are important values. Green people are visionaries. They are good at solving problems, figuring things out, they are objective, quantitative, and are individualistic (they work well independently). Blue people are nurturers. They are sympathetic, empathetic and compassionate, and sensitive to others. I'm not always sympathetic or sensitive. I thought it was interesting to learn about the different types of people. There is one other color, orange, and I am definitely not orange. They are the loud, outgoing, do things on a whim kind of people. My sister is a definite orange.
So, I am kind of embarrassed of a conversation that happened today. I don't want to go into details on the internet, but I will elaborate on the phone, just ask me about wednesday lunch. What I have learned from the incident today is that I need to become wittier. If I could just think on the spot, it would be nice. I have a comeback now, 9 hours later.
On another note, the long string of tests start next week. I am going to look over notes tonight before I go to bed. I have spent a lot of money this month. It has all been for things I need. Textbooks, new tennis shoes, hygiene items, food, gas, binders for my class notes. It adds up quickly. I thought I was done spending for the month, and then I went and dropped my powder compact. I probably had at least enough powder for a month or two, but it broke into tiny pieces and fell all over the floor. So, I had to go and buy more powder. I have to go on a tight budget in February. There is no doubt about it.
My relationship with God has been a little rocky recently. I need to start my days doing my quiet times, I don't know why that is so hard. I get this email called Christian Voices from time to time, and the most recent one was about how man sees our appearances on the outside, but God sees what is on the inside. That really struck home with me because I feel like I am this fake person who seems to have it all together when I really don't. I love going to church, and to the Baptist Student Ministry- I look forward to those things all week. It is a wonderful break from the world of pharmacy. However, those are usually the only times that I spend time in the Word and worship my Lord and Savior. This semester, I will be involved in Sunday church, 2-3 Bible Studies, and a worship service at the BSM. I know that I am involved in those activities for the right reasons, but at the same time I feel like I am putting on a front because I am not developing my relationship with God on my own. I want to be a witness to people, but I don't think I can truly be a witness for how awesome God is if I can't even motivate myself to talk to Him everyday and delve into the Bible to learn as much as I can about Him. I see people around me at the BSM and they have such a passion for God, and I wonder how I can become that passionate as well.
I want to be able to put my full trust in God and give Him everything. I have the hardest time doing it. I know life will be so much better to "Let go and let God" but everytime I try it seems that Satan comes and hits me as hard as he can and then I just give up easily. So I guess what I am saying in all of this is that I need some prayer. I need to pray everyday that God will help me give everything to Him no matter how hard it is. I am sincere about it, but it is hard for me to just give it up.
Thanks for reading the super long blog (if you actually made it this far!) I didn't mean to write a novel, but when I have something to say, which is not often, I have to get it all out. I have been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now. It just took me this long to formulate it and get the courage to write it.
Have a great day!
Still waiting on the clipboard.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
wow girl, powerful stuff. i will definetly be praying for you. i don't think you are fake at all, i think you are human. you are doing these activites for the right reason. part of the reason might be motivation! if i have something to do, i spend more time getting ready. maybe that is what you will do. spend some time in the Word, so you are prepared.
hang in there. we started a thing at the church were we are reading the whole Bible twice this year. do you want a copy of earl's schedule. it has rarely taken me more than 15 minutes or so to do the assigned reading for the day, but it is keeping me motivated.
i will try to call tonight and check on the clipboard and find out about wednesday lunch. i have an after school class until 5 and then home. if i get everyone settled at a decent hour, i will call. if you have a break in there, call me.
i miss you, cindi
Post a Comment