Today, I went to church! Both Sunday School and the Service. Hurray for me, right? Ok, anyway, let me update a little bit. This guy that I like has started attending the same church as me, which is pretty cool- I'm really excited!!! Fortunately, I did not run into any walls today. After church, a group of us went to lunch, guy included and we where there for about 2 hours, just talking and whatnot. Today, I wrote on a friend's wall on facebook saying congratulations because he was baptized earlier this morning. He messaged me back saying a big group of them were going to dinner at Chile's. I was planning on going to bed really early- like 8 pm, but decided to go to dinner instead (I had already eaten by the time I got the message) Guy was there. He was at the other end of the LONG table, but eating with him twice in one day was pretty cool! Made my weekend pretty good. I did really well with coming out of my shell tonight. I talked and laughed and everything. The only problem is, I still can't talk to guy. I have noticed that every person that is a boy, but not guy that I am able to talk to are really outgoing and initiate the conversation with me. Guy never does. I don't know if it is because I can barely make eye contact or what the reason is. He talks to everyone else, too, but not me. I wish there could be a fly on the wall to read into the situation and tell me what is going on. When it comes to reading people, I pretty much suck at it. Anyway, I know God's timing is right and all that, but I'm ready for the timing to be now.

Having said all that, I realized today that there is a lot of things that I need to work on before I am truly ready to be a woman that is Godly enough for my future husband, whoever he is. I have known this for a while, but kind of put it on the backburner, saying I am not ready to give this up yet. Today during church, I realized that I am ready to change these flaws in me, but I really need the faithfulness of God to help me change. It was a weird experience. I got really hot, and I felt like I was starting to sweat, and my cheeks were probably red. I just prayed and asked God for His help in whatever aspect I need to change, which there are a lot. I also feel that finally coming to terms with and confessing the error of my ways changed my attitude in that instant. Which kind of makes this whole blog come to a circle. I think that I was more outgoing tonight because I was happy with myself for once.

I know that this will be a long journey, and I am so thankful that God has been and is faithful to me even when I have not been faithful to Him. I also know that my journey is going to be very tough because Satan doesn't want me to win the battle. Immediately after I prayed to God this morning, Satan let me know that he was going to be around. I am not going to go into details, but I know. I just have to remember what I Corinthians 10:13 says, There is no temptation that God will not provide a way out for.

I am excited to see where I will be in May. The present is always frustrating to be in because I have no clue as to what God is doing. But looking back at the past 4-5 years, I have seen how God's plan has been unfolding in my life. It's pretty cool to connect the dots. So, my goal is to put all my faith in God, give Him everything, and become a better and more godly woman.