SOOOOOOOOOO....

Things are looking up for the most part.  I found out that I only failed one class and not two!  I had to meet with my advisor about my portfolio, and he really liked it.  I had heard that in the past he made people redo the parts that he felt were inadequate.  He was really encouraging to me about becoming less self-conscious and more self-confident.  He is a Christian, and we talked about that for a little bit.  He talked to me about his life and how he finally overcame the need for people to like him all the time and to just be himself.  

I lucked out on the drive home from corpus.  My dad has tinnitus and it really flared up last night, so he couldn't come pick me up today.  Instead, he changed the flight so my mom could come instead.  It was so much nicer.  Thank you, God! My dad is still pretty mad at me because of the grade, but I am ok with it.  I told them what might happen (as in I could graduate a year later).  That really got my dad upset, but my mom seemed ok (I am sure she was not thrilled with the whole situation).  After talking with several people, like the BSM director and my Sunday School teachers, and praying about it, I have a certain peace about my future.  I have been told time and time again that I cannot constantly worry about how my parents feel about my life, but it is hard to do.  I think I am finally letting go of having this fear to make them happy all the time.  Of course it would be nice to pass all of my classes, and I want to, but I kind of think that now I will do better because I won't be under the pressure of them all the time.  

I love my parents, and I know that they have the best interest for me, but I sometimes feel like it would be better for me to emancipate myself from them.  This is the kind of time that I wish I was married and not living on the support of my parents anymore.  Then I could tell them that it is none of their business.  

SPeaking of marriage, in the past 2 days, I have 4 friends who have gotten engaged.  Well, 3 of them are facebook friends- 1 of which I was in KE with but never really knew her, I lived on the same wing in OK Hall with the other and we were not the greatest of friends, and on I knew pretty well during undergrad-we studied together some and were in the same classes.  The fourth is my friend, Jesse, from pharmacy school.  What is in the water? Christmastime! I don't even have a special someone! 

I still think about the airplane guy.  I think of different ways that we might randomly run into each other.  Stranger things have happened! To be honest, I don't remember what he looks like anymore.  I wonder if I would recognize him if I did run into him.  I know I need to be patient and all that, but it is just so hard.  I have never had a boyfriend and I am ready for one.  At least I think so! I know deep down that it is not the right timing.  Imagine if I had to deal with a relationship during school.  My grades are already bad enough.  

Back to the parents and school thing. It's crazy how much I dreaded talking to them about everything.  Once I did it I found that it was pretty easy.  Maybe it just took this long for me to figure out that as long as I am ok with the situation, then everything else will be alright.  I just have to let my parents speak their mind and not fight with them.  After I listen to what they say, I can make an informed decision.  

That's all that is on my mind right now.  I am sure I will be posting more as break continues.  I might need to do a lot of venting!